Sometimes, a good cry can make me happy

The day before 'Captain's departure, he fasted for the Seventeenth of Tammuz, a day which begins "The Three weeks" on the Jewish calendar.  These three weeks culminate in a day called Tisha b'Av, the 9th day of the month of Av.  This auspicious day has marked much tragedy throughout Jewish history.

During one of my first experiences in observing this period of time, I remember a wise rabbi's explanation on how and why we grieve.  He explained that Judaism does not allow us to be sad without purpose throughout the year.  There is so much to be happy about, we need to feel and express that happiness.  During this short time, however, we are not only allowed to feel sad, we are supposed to feel sad.  Whenever we feel sadness throughout the year, we need to bottle it up and save it for the Three Weeks or Tisha b'Av so that we will have the emotions accessible with which to express our devastation at all that does not exist in this world.  We do not have a Temple to serve G-d. G-d's creations do not live in peace.  We must spend three weeks of the year mourning for this state of the world and then we may go back to living b'simcha - with happiness.

I do not remember the exact day, but right around the beginning of the three weeks, Israeli soldiers entered Gaza by foot to eradicate as much terror as possible and protect their People.  This act of defense has served as a conduit for anti-Semites throughout the world to express their criticism for the Jewish State and the Jewish People.

As you might conclude, between the state of the world and 'Capt's deployment, it has not been extremely difficult to find a source of sad emotions this year.

At the same time, I can not be a puddle of tears day in and day out.  I have kids counting on me to take care of them and give them a sense of security.

Some days, my emotions do seep into my parenting.  I notice my patience getting short.  I notice myself snapping at a child whose action did not deserve such a reaction.

So what do I do?  I find a quiet place in solitude and I cry a lot.  Releasing these emotions brings me to a place of patience and tranquility.

It makes sense to feel and express these emotions once a year - we release it all - opening up a place within us for happiness and שלום shalom - peace to reside.  Then, each year we hope to use that happiness and sense of positive purpose to make this world a better place, bring the Jewish people closer to our Destiny and merit the coming of Masshiach so that we won't have to go through the sadness again the next year.