Linking happiness and sleep

I have been thinking about the connection between adequate sleep and ones ability to have patience and simcha in life.

Truth be told, I could probably write an entire blog on this topic alone.  I am going to attempt, however, to consolidate all of my thoughts into one or two blog posts.

In order to keep a semblance of coherence, I begin with self-analysis chronologically progressing from my childhood to my mommyhood.

As a young child, my parents realized very quickly that I needed more sleep than the average kid my age.  From their viewpoint, when I started losing my ability to function appropriately, this automatically signaled the need for a nap.  I would begin screaming, yelling, or crying at something ridiculous, and my parents responded by handing me a blanky, putting me in bed, and proclaiming, "Take a nap.  You can not handle yourself appropriately until you get some sleep."

In all fairness, they were completely right.  After a good nap, I proceeded to act like my happy go lucky self.  As I grew older, however, I still needed sleep whenever I reached this point of no return.  I never allowed myself to learn coping strategies to compartmentalize my fatigue and continue chugging along.

In college, I was one of the only young women I knew who fell asleep by 10 PM every night.  I literally can count on two hands the number of nights I saw AM on the clock before falling asleep.  And for a few days after each of those rare times, I can guarantee that I did not function optimally and I probably had moments of impatience and speaking rudely.

In retrospect, it is hard to know whether this could have developed in another way.  Am I as a person truly unable to hold off fatigue for a few days and still behave like a nice, amicable person (even in an emotionally stressful situation)?  Or is there some level of conditioning that played a hand in my struggle?  When I acted out as a young child, I was taught that sleep would make me a better person.  If I had been told instead, "I know you are tired, but you still need to control your emotions and treat people with respect," while given tools and strategies to behave properly, would that have made any difference???

This whole idea has resurfaced recently for a number of reasons:

1)  As a parent, I am often beyond sleep deprived.  On the one night my baby miraculously sleeps 12 hours, the 3 year-old wakes up screaming at midnight, covered in vomit.  The reality of motherhood is sleep deprivation.  I have been trying to figure out how to balance the fatigue with maintaining patient parenting, having energy to be a good wife, and trying at times to squeeze in some me time (a run, some yoga, or writing).  My husband drinks a lot of coffee.  Whenever I get less than 7 hours of sleep, he recommends a good dose of caffeine.  I do indulge at times, but I am very philosophically against getting myself addicted to needing it in order to wake up in the morning.  So this solution doesn't quite work for me. 
Counterintuitively, I am also currently playing around with waking up an hour earlier.  As long as I can get in bed at a decent hour and not get woken up too much at night, I think that getting out of bed at 6 AM and giving myself an hour to slowly start my day might prove to allow a joyful day much more than being woken up abruptly by a child's scream at 7 AM.

2)  During chagim (holidays), I struggle.  Dinners regularly go until midnight or later in our family, overtired children (from being with extended family) wake me much earlier than normal, and the nature of the holiday schedule does not lend itself to a nap.  Add to this the emotional strain of family dynamics (regardless of how functional a family is, every family has dynamics!) and I always say things I regret or behave in a less than ideal manner.  I always blame it on the fatigue.  But as I finish off the third decade of my life, I don't think this is a valid excuse anymore.  I should be able to control myself. 

3)  MY KIDS -
One of my kids in particular got my sleeping genes - needing a lot of it and having trouble functioning well without. 
If there is any way possible to keep her from ending up in the same situation as me at 27 years old, I would love to help her out now.  I have found myself using the same line my parents did - "This is unacceptable behavior.  Go lay down in your bed, take a nap, and speak to me when you feel better."  Yet each time I say this, I wonder whether I am actually doing her a disservice in the long run.  Should I instead try to teach her at the tender age of 4 that even when she is tired, it is still possible to control herself?  Is this physically possible for a child to learn?? 

In some ways things are easier to impart on an impressionable child.  At the same time, I believe that an adult has more maturity and capability to actually implement the strategies.